Due to quarrels with my stepfather, I leave to live with my grandmother constantly. How to live in your house if you hate stepfather? Sometimes even fights
1st difficulty: the need to recognize the power of the stepfather
Recognizing the power of a stepfather is not easy. When he asks you to do something, in response he wants to throw offense: “You are not my father!” Such an answer may bring temporary satisfaction, but he will betray your immaturity.
On the contrary, listening to your stepfather, you show that you are becoming an adult. This is consistent with biblical advice: "In the ability to understand, become adults." Indeed, to be objective, your stepfather fulfills parental responsibilities and deserves respect for this already. The stepfather resorts to educational measures because he loves you and you are not indifferent to him. “My adoptive father is punishing us,” says 18-year-old Ilona, “but this is normal, it is his duty. If I rejected his instructions, it would be utter ingratitude on my part. He has done so much for us. All these years, he provided for our family financially and took care of our spirituality. " Of course, you may have fair complaints. In this case, behave in an adult manner, in harmony with Colossians 3:13. It says: "Be tolerant of each other and generously forgive each other if someone has a reason to complain about the other."
Write two (or more) good qualities that your stepfather has.
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If you will remember the good qualities of a stepfather, how will this help you treat him with more respect?
3rd difficulty: when you are treated differently than other children
“My stepfather loved his children much more than my sister and I,” recalls Tara. “In the store, he always bought what they liked, and rented films that they wanted to watch at the box office. He indulged all their whims. " This is unlikely anyone will like it. But what helps you not to be offended? Try to understand why your stepfather treats you differently than he does to his own children. Perhaps the point is not in consanguinity, but in the fact that they simply know each other better. After all, most likely, your own father is also closer to you than the adoptive father.
But there is a big difference between the same and fair attitude. Each person has his own character and his own needs. Therefore, do not worry too much about the fact that the adoptive father does not treat you like his children do. Better think about whether he cares that you have everything you need.
What does your adoptive father do for you?
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What do you think he is not doing for you?
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If you think that your stepfather is infringing you in something, why not calmly and respectfully discuss it with him?
Great question!
The two conflicts will not be resolved, you need to get together - you, stepfather (another riffraff like your mother - she is an interested party, so she justly will not judge) and the third person who will judge your conflict!
It will help to develop family rules, you can even write them on a piece of paper. It is best that your grandfather or grandmother be such a person if she is good-naturedly disposed to her stepfather. (But my father will not work, because there will be a conflict)
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