I can’t cope with my sons. Riot on the ship?

I can’t cope with my sons. Riot on the ship? Please, only in the case ...

Hello girls! Sonnul 1.5 years and now there are problems. Probably many cuts go through this ... I was obedient and then ... almost yelling and crying! Maybe 15 minutes sob. And I'm starting to think: maybe it hurts ... but I don’t catch ??? 2 months ago, I reacted very well to the word NOT. You can’t say it, he doesn’t. And now say, don’t say ... Well, for example ... I found a self-tapping screw .. drags it into my mouth ... you speak calmly ... Dania can’t .... and still drags. As a result, you come up and stupidly take away (((Scream and tears ... the sea !!! Although earlier you say give or spit it out, give it and spit it out. Girls, who faced this? What to do? I don’t want to spank. Categorically. Although the hand is sometimes like that and itches (((. I don’t want him to cry. It’s a pity. But I understand, I’ll give a weakness and I’m going to twist a rope. But I don’t agree! I’ve thought about something else: we don’t have a regime! My omission. I repent. Maybe Does he behave this way because of a lack of discipline? And please write, what kind of schedules did your children have at that age? Approximately.

THE SELF-TAPE FOUND ON THE STREET !!!! At our place, this is not just lying around!

I had this, too, in 1.5 years. Loved the fire on the stove. Spinning and spinning around the stove. A hundred times you can’t say it, it’s useless! Straight forces dry out yelling. Well, I'm sitting in the kitchen, climbing over to the gas again. Well, I think it's good that I'm here. Let him try, since the word "can not" does not understand. I say - well, go on! And he got up and put both hands on the gas. There was a scream! Hands did not hurt, but the problem was solved! I understood the word “impossible” the first time and near the stove I didn’t see him anymore.

Please do not write that I am a sadist, but I did not see another way out of this situation. All the time I was in tension and made sure that, God forbid, he did not go back to the kitchen to the stove.

Look for interesting activities for him. First sit with him, then he will be busy himself. I think this is a temporary phenomenon, it will pass.

The mode is necessary. Especially sleep mode. Normal sleep is the psyche and healthy nerves of the child. It is necessary to beat the child, but only for the cause and necessarily an explanation for what the punishment is. Punished and returned to normal relations. That would be clear. I rewarded mine with a belt for special merits. Be sure to explain previously for what. The first time my son slapped somewhere in 1.5, the second in three, the third in 6 is no longer necessary. My daughter also received. Screams and tantrums were ignored. There were attempts, but there was no sense and everything ended right away. If they tried to fall into a hysteria, they simply did not notice and continued to do their own thing, but be sure to see that the children understood that nothing could be achieved with a tantrum. In general, raising a son is a male affair.

You clearly divide everything for yourself into zones "categorically impossible", "you can with me" and "you can." And do not step back a single step. It is said "It is impossible", then it is impossible. Take away and nothing that the child protests. It is normal that protests. Once mother said-did, the second time, the third. And he will already understand that you are not throwing words into the wind.

Restore mode! I understand that laziness is hard. But for discipline and overall health, this is very important.

Praise the child if he obeys. DO NOT just scold.

In general, the most important thing in education is parenting. As you collect and pick yourself up, so the child will be assembled and raised.

And do not forget about yourself. If you do not want or do not like something, you are not obliged to do this. Keep this in mind. And never forget. But do not use as an excuse for laziness.

My kids were about a year and a half old and started to show character. And why is roaring - it is very simple, they still can’t say about their desires and not desires, but there are already desires. And some more !! ! And there are so many !!!! And so quickly replace each other !!!! What else to do? I have to scream, stomp my legs, fall to the floor and ride in hysteria. What should mom do? The first is calm. Second - explain that screaming is a bad way of communication :)) - you cannot understand it. Ask - what do you want? Let him show with a pen, express himself and his desires somehow else - not with a cry. And to say that this is how you can understand what you need, and screaming is a bad way. If, nevertheless, he is determined to make a tantrum, then one cannot give what the tantrum has been directed to. And the garnish here is thin - you need to learn how to recognize it. One more thing - I cannot explain the word with my own, in the sense of reason. Not immediately, but they understand, moreover, this method is a good start for the future. Regarding the regime. Apparently the baby you have is quite active, and such a regime is very desirable - it helps them learn how to control themselves, makes their world more predictable. Our mode (us 1.9):

8-9 - rise, breakfast

9-12 - walks, games, educational activities, etc.

12 - lunch (lunch time, but we do not eat much, so lunch)

12-20 - 14 (15) - sleep

15 - lunch

15-16 - games (usually more independent)

16-19 - walking on the weather or sharing time with me or the eldest daughters

19-20 - dinner (so long, because a brother comes from the kindergarten, and he eats for a long time, and we look at him and also eat endlessly ....)

20-21 - games, cartoons

21 - 21-20 - hang up.

And I highly recommend not to be lazy and take water procedures daily (we swim or before dinner, if we walked - right there from the doorstep to the bath, or after - after about 15-20 minutes) - this helps the child to relax, relieve deprived nervous tension and just enjoy. My son is 3.3, but to this day we love swimming and do it almost daily, along with my sister ...

I have the same thing, we are a year and 10 months old. , it started somewhere 1, 2 months. , I thought one such "mother", and my son, "crazy." For a month the sums went, a roar, a cry, either so, then how. She pulled herself together and wrote this problem on several sites for doctors and just mothers. It turned out to be a crisis from the first year - "it's me."

It is less known than the crisis of the third year - the crisis "I myself", when a person requires independence, but no less important. This is self-awareness, the understanding that he has his own, different from yours, desires and unwillingness, likes and dislikes - after all, before the child practically self-identified with you. And now he is doing everything “in spite”, “contrary” - but in fact he is convinced and checks in practice that he _may_ not want what you want, that he is on his own, and not part of you :)

It will pass without fail, it is necessary to endure. In general, I really liked this advice (I read it in an article about the teenage crisis, but I think that it’s _always_ appropriate): "The child should be given as much freedom as he can digest." Give him where it can, let him do it decide where you can - and be patient and firm where you can’t. Do more with it, read the internet about games that develop my like, especially plasticine cut with a plastic knife, etc. Yes, the mode is needed, but how !! ! It’s checked with the regime, he’s calm, we get up at 9 to eat, play, get out together (dad is at work all the time) I give him a rag he helps, like an adult, he sleeps at 2 in the afternoon, he watches cartoons, he walks in the evening, and we sleep at 9 30-10 in the evening .

I believe that the regime is necessary, certainly not like in prison, but still.

plus / minus half an hour of course it's okay.

my opinion is that if there is a regimen, the child is calmer, eats better, sleeps better, generally arrives in a better mood.

The regime of 1.5 years we had about this.

9 am - rise, wash, breakfast.

further games, walks and more.

13:00 - lunch, then on the pot, read and sleep

13:30 - 16:00 - sleep

after sleep, an afternoon snack, then we went to developmental classes or walked.

18:30 dinner (on the days when they went to classes, it turned out later)

then games, in the summer you can still walk

20:50 "good night, kids," then bathing, curd, reading

22:00 hang up.

at the expense of tantrums. each must not be understood very clearly (with a discount on age, of course). For example, the same child took a self-tapping screw, it is necessary to explain why it is impossible, for example, this is Daddy's thing, only adults can take it, this thing is dangerous, you can get hurt.

then distract the child, you can almost always find that occupation that the child cannot resist.

if it didn’t work out, I just left the room and told my daughter "how do you calm down, come and do it ... (something very interesting to the child)."

In general, a clear justification for each action and a choice in an affordable way really helps me and my daughter. - for example, she doesn’t want to dress, I say choose this jacket or this one to wear. Chosen personally dresses up more fun)))) Choosing something on their own, the child feels that he is considered with him, this is important.

(now the daughter is 2.5 years old).

I have the same thing, we are a year and 10 months old. , it started somewhere 1, 2 months. , I thought one such "mother", and my son, "crazy." For a month the sums went, a roar, a cry, either so, then how. She pulled herself together and wrote this problem on several sites for doctors and just mothers. It turned out to be a crisis from the first year - "it's me."

It is less known than the crisis of the third year - the crisis "I myself", when a person requires independence, but no less important. This is self-awareness, the understanding that he has his own, different from yours, desires and unwillingness, likes and dislikes - after all, before the child practically self-identified with you. And now he does everything “in spite”, “contrary” - but in fact he is convinced and checks in practice that he _may_ not want what you want, that he is on his own, and not part of you :)

It will pass without fail, it is necessary to endure. In general, I really liked this advice (I read it in an article about the teenage crisis, but I think that it’s _always_ appropriate): "The child should be given as much freedom as he can digest." Give him where it can, let him do it decide where you can - and be patient and firm where you can’t. Do more with it, read an Internet about games that develop my like, especially cut plasticine with a plastic knife, etc. Yes, the mode is needed, but how !! ! It’s checked with the regime, he’s calm, we get up at 9 to eat, play, get out together (dad is at work all the time) I give him a rag he helps, like an adult, he sleeps at 2 in the afternoon, he watches cartoons, he walks in the evening, and we sleep at 9 30-10 in the evening .

I believe that the regime is necessary, certainly not like in prison, but still.

plus / minus half an hour of course it's okay.

my opinion is that if there is a regimen, the child is calmer, eats better, sleeps better, generally arrives in a better mood.

The regime of 1.5 years we had about this.

9 am - rise, wash, breakfast.

further games, walks and more.

13:00 - lunch, then on the pot, read and sleep

13:30 - 16:00 - sleep

after sleep, an afternoon snack, then we went to developmental classes or walked.

18:30 dinner (on the days when they went to classes, it turned out later)

then games, in the summer you can still walk

20:50 "good night, kids," then bathing, curd, reading

22:00 hang up.

at the expense of tantrums. each must not be understood very clearly (with a discount on age, of course). For example, the same child took a self-tapping screw, it is necessary to explain why it is impossible, for example, this is Daddy's thing, only adults can take it, this thing is dangerous, you can get hurt.

then distract the child, you can almost always find that occupation that the child cannot resist.

if it didn’t work out, I just left the room and told my daughter, "how do you calm down, come and do it ... (something very interesting to the child)."

In general, a clear justification for each action and a choice in an affordable way really helps me and my daughter. - for example, she doesn’t want to dress, I say choose this jacket or this one to wear. Chosen personally dresses up more fun)))) Choosing something on their own, the child feels that he is considered with him, this is important.

(now the daughter is 2.5 years old).

This is normal, probably everyone goes through it, we are 2.5, and we still have not recovered from it. In general, in any problem, I try to take the place of another person, in this case - the place of the child. Why does he start yelling right away? Is it really, painful or insulting, that mom took something there? No, because this is the only way to return an interesting item back. If it helps, then you need to use it! Children - they are subtle psychologists. Of course, it’s difficult to remain principled, but, I noticed, if you’re not just silently selecting something, restricting yourself to strict “it’s impossible”, but trying to explain calmly and affectionately why it isn’t possible, then the conflict will be settled more quickly. Good luck to you!

At this age, children begin to show their "self" and educate in YOU what they would like. The exit is simple began to roar - switch his attention. For example, ask to bring something, offer to help you with something, give another toy that you can. If he doesn’t take it, sit next to him so that he can see you and play with the toy yourself, the baby will quickly become interested in himself and approach you, while ceasing to grieve over the missed self-tapping screw.

and even the lack of a regime is also a certain regime, if a child under 1.5 years of age did not have this, then it already suits him.

Remember, you are not raising a child, but he is raising you.

need to tell yourself:

== what am I ... could not remove the screw in an inaccessible place

not to order him

The child grows up and has the right to play and learn about the world.

Parents' business - TO ENSURE DEVELOPMENT and SECURITY!

At that time, you tell him with a happy face, with a smile and an affectionate voice: “ON!”

And give a toy, a ball, a spoon, even a cookie

Something should be exchanged, not a ban, and he will take something from you for an exchange, and no offense will accumulate

Play with him, caress, love ...

He perceives your inhibitions as LOVE, rudeness and your greed.

and suffers, he is completely dependent.

the result will be a neurosis or psychosis

The brain of the child is only being formed - spare and love him.

Yes, the crisis of 3 years is still far. But it looks like he is trying to manipulate you. You can’t beat !!!! Just ignore, go to another room. But first clearly say - NOT. This is difficult, very difficult, but the result will be. Health to your baby !!!!

The kid is now provoking you, checking that he can achieve by crying do not react. Cry and stop. Better yet, distract the baby, engage him with something.